WEEK 7: Family Sorrow or Family Joy

Being a parent is tough.  Especially when you watch your children make choices that are contrary to what you taught them.  These experiences can really take a toll on a marriage.  There are feelings of hurt, maybe shame, guilt, responsibility, disappointment, etc.  It is hard to remember that it is your child that is bringing these feelings out, and not to project these feelings onto your spouse.  Adam and Eve faced the situation of a challenging child – one that killed another one of their children.  I can’t imagine the thoughts and feelings and blame that might have been going through their minds.  There was no one else to blame, no one else to turn to, except each other.  In Covenant Hearts, Elder Bruce C. Hafen stated:

“We do know that because they accepted the Atonement of Christ, Adam and Eve . . . could all grow from their experience without suffering irreparable damage.  With their family life as their main place of spiritual schooling, they learned from both misery and joy, discovering firsthand that “God . . . shall consecrate thing afflictions for thy gain” (2 Nephi 2:2)”.

Pondering on Elder Hafen’s comments, and the experience of Adam and Eve, I have a greater appreciation for the Atonement.  I know that I need to do my best, putting my whole heart and soul into being a righteous mother.  But I am in partnership with God, who loves my child as much, if not more so, than I do.  And he has provided a way for both of us to learn from these experiences, without “suffering irreparable damage”.  We are able to come together as husband and wife, and do our best, and learn from these experiences so that we will have a greater appreciation of our Father in Heaven, and His thoughts and feelings toward each one of us.  I am sure, just as much as I sometimes feel like I am beating my head against the wall because of one of my children and their choices, He is up there doing the same thing with the choices I make and the things I do.  But He loves me in spite of my mistakes.  He keeps encouraging me and lovingly guiding me along.  He has provided opportunities for me to learn and grow for a reason.  I need to trust that He knows me and my husband, what we can handle, what we need to still learn, and how we can best learn it.  I need to trust that my husband and I can work through these adversities because we can help each other best, in the ways that we need it most, so we can be who Heavenly Father needs us to be.  Our loyalty and trust in each other, and with God, will help us be stronger than we could be on our own.